By Dan Mayhew (to be read with tongue in cheek)

My friends are all open minded, 
Tolerant in every way. 
We smile and nod affirmation, 
And accept whatever we say. 

Our goal is cooperation, 
We honor diversity. 
It’s a fuzzy and warm occupation, 
Free of adversity. 

Such contrary thoughts we’re discerning! 
Yet being open is what we prefer, 
The adventure is constantly learning, 
Just what we’re really not sure. 

You see, truth is a slithery, slimy thing. 
It always slips out of our head. 
It has a vaguely intolerant ring, 
So we think it’s better off dead. 

Thus, we have no time for elitists, 
Who think that they’ve arrived.
Bigots! Fanatics! Homophobes!
Closed-minded, self-satisfied. 

No, we’re looking for truth that’s comfortable, 
That fits like a well-worn shoe. 
We’re looking for truth that suits us, 
Whether or not it’s true!